I haven’t written a post in several months. Not because I’ve stopped training. I haven’t known how to express where I am in my athletic development. The joy of training hasn’t gone away. Nor has the desire to push myself to achieve new things.

I feel as if I’m moving through a developmental transition. Moving from a freshman endurance athlete who is full of naive, unknowing wonderment into a sophomore with more humility and tempered confidence.

Recently, I have been experiencing a feeling of being somewhat lost. Aimless.

I have completed what I considered to be my “ludicrous goal”… an Ironman triathlon. Then, I had major abdominal surgery and without hesitation did it two more times.

As bizarre as this sounds, I have zero doubts that I can complete an Ironman triathlon. Now the questions revolve around how well I can execute and how quickly I can complete them. Depending on how big I set these goals, they can be monumental challenges. However, they don’t resonate with my ludicrous meter. I think I want a new terrifyingly difficult goal. Something that causes a surge of fear-based adrenaline when I say it out loud while also enticing my spirit to dance.

So far, the whispers of a new ludicrous goal are too soft and remain unclear.

I am listening.