Yesterday I deferred Ironman Cozumel to 2023. For the past month, the race has been like a weight. I am not excited about it and feel like a need a break from the big training blocks. I’ve been training nonstop for long course races for the last three years. I’m used to feeling fatigued, but the current state of fatigue is different. Instead of being physically tired, I’ve had lingering mental and emotional fatigue. Fortunately, my joy of training and feeling healthy hasn’t decreased. Although I’d been thinking about deferring the race, I hadn’t discussed it with anyone because I felt like a quitter when I entertained those thoughts. My whole being was telling me no, but I had committed to the race, so I felt that I needed to see it through.
Yesterday, while doing some travel planning for the trip to Cozumel I was gobsmacked by the increase in prices of the airfare and hotels. I even tried some creative routing which would have made the travel very inconvenient but the prices were still unreasonably high. The cost of the plane tickets had tripled. Having already second-guessed whether I really wanted to do the race, I realized that the cost of the trip would not be worth it. We’ve been to Cozumel many times, so the location wasn’t special, or new. The only remaining reason to go was that I paid $800 to register for the race. However, hanging on and enduring such a grueling event for $800 seemed silly.
After taking a deep breath, I told my wife and son that I didn’t want to do the race. If possible, I wanted to defer it until 2023 or even 2024. They looked at me with disbelief. I explained what I’d been feeling and that the costs of the trip were too much. She agreed and said, if your heart isn’t in the race, defer it. I reviewed the race’s deferral rules and was in luck. Anyone who had registered before May of this year would be allowed to defer to 2023 for any reason at no cost. Since I registered in November 2021, I was in luck. Everything was lined up, and I felt a wave of relief. I was no longer carrying the weight of a big, difficult race that I really didn’t want to do.
After accepting my decision, I emailed coach Johny and explained what I was feeling and thinking. He was in agreement and said that we would shift my training from Ironman preparation to doing speed work and getting lean. The training plan would be updated right away.
The thought of a change in routine made me feel lighter, and a little nervous. I’ve never done speed training, so I don’t know what to expect. But, I do know that I want to be able to race faster, so I am looking forward to developing new capabilities.